Happy birthday to me.

I wish i was happier though. It somehow feels nothing is going right in my life and i dont know what I want to do with my life. In my work, I really feel demotivated and with the recent news, I really think its unfair. I feel so tempted to just throw in my resignation letter, take time off before finding a new job. But with all my financial commitments, its so difficult for me to do so. What if i dont find something better, what if I become jobless for a long time or get a much lower salary, what if the new colleagues are horrible to me..so many ifs..

I'm also so worried about dad''s situation at the home, even though i know i shouldnt be..i know the staff at the home said that the mgmt will inform us in advance about the plans for the home and we don't need to do anything now, but what if the decision is to transfer the residents to their other branches? their other branches may not have the space and also are not very near to us, which makes it difficult for us to visit dad often. And his dentures problem is worrying me as well, everytime we visit him and bring him food, i see his dentures falling down when he bites, i feel bad that we're not taking good care of dad..when i called a few dentists and they all said that it takes 4-5 times to make the dentures, it seems like such a difficult task to coordinate. And the dental clinics were all not very helpful, i cant believe the one at amk said that if its too troublesome then dont come..i was so pissed when i heard what the man said..I really hope that the only option which mum mentioned will work, cuz if not i really dunno what to do man..

all this makes me feel frustrated with the health care facilities here in Singapore, they are just so ill equipped to fit the needs of the ageing society. I was looking for dental options online and they have like mobile dentists in other countries, where they can bring dental care to the bedside of people who are not mobile and no access to medical or dental facilities. Its like how come nobody thought of providing dental facilities to the nursing homes in Singapore, dont the residents at the homes also need dental care? especially since they are mostly elderly people who are limited to their wheelchairs and not easy to get around..

Im also worried about our housing loan thing, i dont know if hdb will really approve our appeal. and it just frustrates me to know that the government is not enough to help the middle class people with their housing needs.

All this is weighing down on me and i feel i cant breathe. I feel really down and i know nobody can help me but myself..God, can you please tell me what i should do and make things go right?