Dad is in the hospital and the doc from TTSH AMK hosp has told us that we have 2 options - to hire a maid who can take care of my dad at home or to send him to a nursing home.

The doc said that it would be better for dad to stay at home in a familiar environment but do you think its easy? He had so much problems with the maids we hired previously (which is why we dont have one now) and the point is, maids are not trained to take care of elderly or disabled people. Why would the maid care if dad didnt take his medicine? Would she know if he suffered another stroke and even so, what could she do? It's hugely stressful to put the burden of caring for someone on a single individual, one who comes from a third world country for the main purpose of earning money..someone who wouldnt be trained professionally to take care of old people..who wouldnt know or care much about dad's condition anyway. Do you think she would be bothered to chat with dad, to help him stimuate his mind? I dont know there are many maids out there who can speak Mandarin too..

I told the doc about the problems dad had with the maids, he said that the problem could be solved by setting the boundaries from the beginning. Do you think i never tried to do that? It still happened..

What Dad needs is company, people to talk to, and professionally trained people who know how to handle old people with strokes or other disabilities. It's not that the nursing home will be perfect or have saints that will take good care of their patients..or that it will be cheap..its just that i feel a lot better knowing that he's in a place where if anything happens,they will know what to do..where they can communicate with him and inform us if anything happens. Most importantly, there will be other pple that Dad can talk to..instead of staying at home meaninglessly, just watching tv blankly without really paying attention to what's on the screen or just sleeping on his bed and staring into the air.

It will be expensive, but i guess we will find a way to cope with the cost..I think without God and Kelvin and my sister's support, I would just crumble under the stress. God help me through this, please dont let this drag go. Dad already doesnt have a good quality life already and his life is not very meaningful,please dont drag this on if it gets worse like he gets bedridden..I'll rather he go away from the world peacefully then leading a life that is undignified for a human being.